impromptu.

for as long as i can remember, i've been more tomboyish than girly. it's progressed from playing every kind of sport that i could with boys (and gina mazzolini): two-hand touch, cement soccer, catch, etc., to working with all-male staffs, to - until my return to l.a. - just straight chilling with boys the majority of my free time. my go-to's. since i've been back, it's the complete opposite.

take today, for instance.

doctor's appointment in ppla santa monica. waiting room filled with girls. in the doctor's office i got schooled on everything the female body. it was interesting if only for the kind of vibe she created - it was all about me as a woman and my plans, my choices. and i have to admit, it was refreshing to be asked all kinds of questions about my sex/social life for the sole sake of how it could relate to my health, rather than measuring how much closer i am to burning in hell. and thanks to the state of california, ppla is able to include the morning after pill in my goody bag for free (or donation). i didn't even ask for it.

i'm really digging the state of california.

then it was off to a late lunch with colleen in belmont shore. need i say more.

i decided to head back north via pch. it was about 85 degrees along the coast, but it was still the least-hot part of town possible. ah, one nice thing about having all this time to myself: i can drive surface streets. i've always preferred them to freeways, but it's hard to find a passenger who has the patience to understand the kick i get out of taking just one street that could drive me through all the different kinds of l.a. (e.g. pch, wilshire). there's something gorgeous about seeing l.a. change from (practically) block to block. it goes great with having no plans.

when i got to around the skirball i decided to call my sis to see if i could drop by. q is a trip. she was making up her own language and was encouraging me to speak it with her. during dinner she was trying to avoid eating her peas so i told her that i'd bite her ear off if she didn't. the little girl coincidentally said, "go ahead and bite it." so i pretended to and put it in my pocket. she straight dug her hand into my pocket and yelled, "i got it back." her world of improvisation. she used to drag around a pillow and called it "soft pillow" because she loved how soft the pillowcase was on it. now she's ditched the pillow and just takes the pillowcase around with her everywhere. "soffie." it's all dirty and tore up. when she's tired, she puffs a part of the pillowcase in her hand and dabs it on her cheek or her forehead with the most serene look on her face. tonight she was coughing into it. yum.

my view of the opposite sex is a bit skewed right now i think.


doctor's office.


i don't know.

"if you are content with being nobody in particular, content not to stand out, you align yourself with the power of the universe. what looks like weakness to the ego is in fact the only true strength." (eckhart tolle, a new earth)