real talk

i've been feeling a bit isolated lately living on the other side of the pond. i have a lot of thoughts about my life, observations about the world from over here, and just all kinds of things i'd like to talk about to anyone. but a difference in language makes it hard to just shoot the shit. you know what i mean, i feel like i'm always "on," needing to think about how i say what i want to say in a different language. it reminds me of the first time i ventured out to europe with nothing but a backpack. i traveled throughout the continent by myself (see photos) - and traveling through places that speak different languages and have different customs for the first time ever, alone (!), my journal was my only friend. and sometimes that wasn't enough to fulfill my natural desire for social contact. but as that only happened every other city meeting an english-speaking train traveler, sometimes i'd find myself talking to myself.





six years later, here i am sitting on a sofa in barcelona. e-mail, phone calls and text messages used to be the way i'd communicate how a friend and i would meet up to talk or drink or eat or chill. now e-mails and phone calls and texts have replaced the talks and chill sessions and are the only ways i keep up with the outside world.. friends.. fam..



what's hard about it is that i'm at this point where if i could be at two places at the same time, it would be now. i love living and working in barcelona. it's probably the most challenging experience i've ever decided to take on, moving here and learning all of these amazing lessons.. it's like my grad school, you know what i mean? unfortunately 99% of my support system resides in the states, and i'd give anything to have a face-to-face with them during the times i just need to re-connect, re-energize and bounce back. anyway, i guess the distance between loved ones and me is a big part of the reason why this experience is so challenging. if living here is like going to grad school, for any of you that are in or have graduated from grad school, imagine going to one out-of-state. with your best friend or spouse. and the two of you are taking all of the same classes and are partnered-up for every single group project. and you work at the same internship together. and of course, you are each other's roommates. okay, this is definitely the most challenging chapter of my life experience.



can i put this on a resume? ha ha.

the longest day

here we are, another summer solstice. it's 9:30pm and the sun is barely setting. and the summer begins.


caixa forum.

sugared strawberries.

castelldefells. cloudy. happy.

l.a. blurrr. blurrr.

bloo blee blah

this little girl is funny. like she would be able to translate the title of this entry. she totally gets it. l'il mizz q. come to think of it, this photo was taken at max's in glendale on a monday afternoon, and it represents a mere second of what this girl does on the regular. this was happening during dinner with lola and ate. no it's not code.

oh, another time my sister and i went to her school to watch all these kids participate in a trike-a-thon. very cute. little kids living the good life. ah, and just like that, the sun comes out again. you know what i'm feeling right now is entourage. mia, i'm fucking hooked. i don't know what it is, but they got me. i'm into it.





oh man, i can't believe i was in downtown the same day as the great american boycott. gerlie had warned me about the possibility of mad traffic going on that day. tuesday, may 1st. i mean, we were prepared with maps and a color-coded system projecting what would happen in such and such case. anyway, i headed out of toluca lake around 11am and got to fairfax and 3rd by 11:15. no traffic, the streets were empty. i had an hour to kill so i decided to just drive around and scope some landmarks. downtown is beautiful. so i'm driving, and head into the jewelry district.. finally saw some people walking with flags. but the streets are still open. i turn right on grand and bam, a whole mess of people just closing the streets as they walked. i followed them as long as i could then finally turned right off some number street. without thinking i ended up in front of fidm, parked and checked out the student boutique. if that is not so l.a. i don't know what iz. you know what i'm talking about. and that was just the beginning of a typical day. then i went to the union bank bldg, picked gerlie up and headed to a really good pizza spot in echo park called masa. blahblahblah got out of downtown just as they were shutting exits down. lapd got gnarly. then it goes on and on, like being in santa monica later that afternoon and getting a nano for kenz. such an l.a. day.



another typical day. all of my dope friends get together and basically go to different places to take photos of each other. and dance. and smoke. drank.

"don't talk about it. be about it."

you know, i could really get used to living abroad if i can keep up the traveling back home every few months. being home in december for xmas and then again just last week feels really good. like ate said, "back so soon! it's like you live in san francisco." and then there's barça - i think it helps that mack and i moved into our new apartment. it's new, clean, and it has a garage spot for our car. truth be told, i had no idea how essential having a car garage was to leading a happier life. it makes a huge difference. huge.

some thoughts. people can get pretty confrontational in l.a. but in barcelona, it's the complete opposite. and sometimes i catch myself getting a bit annoyed, say, when someone bumps into me getting into the metro and they don't even look at me to say "perdona" or "lo siento." whereas, while in l.a. it could get a bit tiring making sure to be polite, recognize the person you accidentally bumped into or whatever, and say "excuse me," because if you don't, people get totally pissed off and call you out on how inconsiderate or uncompassionate you were being. can i get a "shame on you?" exactly.

what i'm trying to tell myself is: fuck the bullshit. there's more to life than these little thought-out or not-thought-out things. who the fuck cares? as long as i'm breathing, walking, seeing, hearing, i'm good.

& it goes a little something like this.

there are no need for words any more. we all know who's got to go.
Originally uploaded by mjane.

i received a pretty big blow to my career-oriented ego today. just as i was getting comfy with the idea of making this surf company a force to be reckoned with in barcelona - fuck it - europe, i'd been brought back to the front desk with only a possible future in warehouse operations in sight. ouch. the idea that my spanish-language skills would extend only to the savviest of DHL or FedEx drivers hit me where it hurts.

oh buddy, this is where the old "grass is greener" saying comes into play again. and it sure can fuck a girl up thinking about where that grass grows. am i a masochist? because the reality is, it grows wherever the fuck you're not. i usually realize this midway through my greener-grass daydreaming, and like clockwork, go into the next time-old saying, something about having the "best of both worlds." why not?, i wonder. and as yet another saying goes, "you can't have your cake and eat it too." still, i can't help but wonder, why not?

perhaps those two little words make up a saying of its own.

alright, alright

me_amnesia, originally uploaded by mjane.

alright okay.

no internet for days and days. i don't know if i'm spoiled from the customer service of the states or if spain is uncivilized.

blockage

i'm thinking, everyone who's writing to me right now write really well. and well me, i feel like i can't write really well right now. ahaha. maybe there are no need for words.

fullhouse 3am after heavy drinking. so good., originally uploaded by mjane.

"sun is the only cure"

mack and i pretty much worship the sun. or you could say that we are addicted to vitamin d. lucky for us, it's turning out that barcelona is a damn good city to live in to soak up as much sun as we possibly could for the winter. but not too much, don't want to look like leather 20 years from now. or actually, don't want to look 20 years older 20 years from now.

kenzie seems to be on the right track with that. he turns 30 on thursday, but a few weeks ago the server at our fave pub thought that he was 21. what's his secret?

the sunshine kid. oh shit, 30 years old!, originally uploaded by mjane.

in l.a. we love mexican breakfast, but in europe it's all about the english brekkies at our fave pub. so good., originally uploaded by mjane.

men.

I spent my life trying not to be careless - women and children can be careless, but not men.
~ vito corleone, the godfather

this quote comes to mind every so often, especially after having moved to europe because i observe that this part of the world is definitely a man's world. funny thing though, it's totally ironic how macho this part of the world is considering most dudes out here live with their mothers up to and past 30 years of age, leaving their mama's house only when they get married (most likely to a woman who ends up being his second mother but calls her "wife," the legal term that says he can have sex with her (having his cake and eating it, too)). meaning, they have absolutely no grip on reality, yet these are the exact guys who sit on thrones, sign bills into laws, and determine the success of (or these days, usually the failure of) a company or a society.

i don't even know where i'm going with this - and mind you, i usually don't care too much for the issue of the battle of the sexes. but let's just say that today is one of those days that i wish i could just sit with my girls in a cozy environment with a couple of bottles of red wine - fuck it, champagne, a few joints to puff on, and talk about how ridiculous to the point of being hilarious men are and the make-believe world they've created for themselves to live in while the rest of us actually have to work to make a dollar/get recognition.

okay, i'm not going to get into it much further. but it's been frustrating trying to build a career out here. i learned french to work in france, but only to get stuck working with a bunch of macho idiots who never respected me, my experience, and therefore my work. and now i'm learning spanish to work in spain, all so i can be in the running for a fucking receptionist job at this american company while some dude who doesn't speak a lick of spanish and has no background in marketing is the fucking marketing consultant for them. granted, that dude is actually a super-talented, smart and successful man i call my husband, so i'll say he's a lucky bastard. but that job was perfect for me! in any case, careless i'm not, and careless i can't afford to be. and it's really anywhere in the world, i'd have to work twice as hard and kiss ass that much more to get where i feel like i deserve to be anyway. so i'm working and i'm kissing away...

i really should start my own company.

(in)dependence

after a month of "no funciona el internet" i actually thought for a moment today that i could live without it. yet as soon as i got home tonight, i got nervous just thinking about all of the news i need to catch up on. not sure why i was nervous as things seem to be just as i left them a month ago. although i must say that i don't mind reading about just how much the mid-term election is shaking things up in d.c. first woman speaker of the house. what.

and then there's q. always q! she just celebrated her 5th birthday last saturday with friends and fam. the theme was super heroes. how appropriate.

look at ninong mark getting a kiss from mila, originally uploaded by mjane.

little homegirl is wearing a black leotard with a white tutu at her birthday party. i think q does her own styling. , originally uploaded by mjane.

that's all day

since i moved away, i find it difficult to think in retrospect. normally, as soon as i step outside of my apartment, so many things are happening all at the same time with every turn, every step, every street i cross, every metro train i get into... all of them new and unusual to me that i can't keep track of all of the quirks and observations i'm making as soon as they happen. it's more like, hmm, there's an old drunk dude pissing in his pants in the middle of the plaza. interesting. walk a few steps and then there's another dude rolling a spliff in public. cool. turn the corner and there's a bachelorette party of girls wearing pink bunny ears and making the bride-to-be do something embarrassing in public. just like vegas. then there's a fireman climbing up the side of an apartment building to reach someone by going through their window. it happens. and so on and so forth and next thing you know you step in dog shit. god forbid you actually go through one day with your eyes closed.

i don't know where i'm going with this. there's just a lot going on all the time. it's exciting. in every possible way you could define excitement, it is very.

laundry, originally uploaded by mjane.

i never thought that i'd enjoy sitting in a starbucks overseas, but when you've been away from home as long as i have, this place is comforting. not to mention that the starbucks at maremagnum has an amazing view of port vell. , originally uploaded by mjane.

see what's in between the palms off in the distance? i call it mackenzie's oasis., originally uploaded by mjane.

oh, and then there's back home. if only i had my private leer jet already... then i'd have my cake and eat it too, wouldn't i?

aqui son mi papa y pequeña miss quirina. have you seen little miss sunshine, by the way?, originally uploaded by mjane.

back home: wonder q on halloween, originally uploaded by mjane.

i gotta cop me a pair of those tights!, originally uploaded by mjane.

which reminds me, mackenzie and i have been going to the movies almost every weekend since we moved here. we absolutely loved "little miss sunshine." i felt like "the departed" left me hanging, but how hot is leo dicaprio?? honestly. and just last saturday we saw "an inconvenient truth." you guys, if we don't all get rid of our OLD HABITS, there will be no more financial district in nyc, the golden gate bridge will be underwater, and the number of philippine islands will decrease to a few hundred, instead of a few thousand WITHIN OUR LIFETIME. anyway, watch the movie if you haven't yet.

re-wind

i feel like the world has gone back in time to the 80s. and when i say this, it's not all good. let's start with the obvious: the fashion. i'm talking about what people are wearing in the streets. everything from mohawk-ish/mullet-ish layered hairstyles and hairgel (gross!) to ridiculously ugly colorway'd and patterned outfits. a couple of really annoying details i've observed on numerous ladies' outfits is the off-the-shoulder look, and the obsession with distasteful metal hardware on boots (especially), belts, and jewelry. still not convinced? one word: leggings. i actually like that leggings are back for this fall, but why does it seem like 90% of women are translating that look into that of madonna's in "desperately seeking susan" ? note: don't forget, i'm living in the eu these days - and if you knew what 80s fashion was in europe back then (london punk, italian leather), you can only imagine how bad the fashion is out here right now.


along with fashion, spending lots of money has become "in" again. and spending it on the very items that are contributing to a lot of the world's problems (like war and starvation) will make you famous. in other words, people who do not contribute anything stimulating to the progress of society are today's celebrity... soley for being spoiled brats. in the 80s, it was the likes of princess stephanie of monaco. today, it's paris hilton and the offspring of 80s pop musicians.

there are other details, like crappy pop music and going to church (or being "born again"), but perhaps the most frightening detail of the 80s that is most characteristic of today's world is that an idiot is running shit in the white house. in the 80s it was ronald reagan. the ol' gipper. and today, well, today, you know who it is. back then, the enemy were the russians, and today they are "muslim extremists;" phrases like "high gas prices," "the middle class is dying," and "unemployment is up" are revived; and anti-immigration is a hot issue once again (we gotta beef up the security on those borders!!). basically, it's the same stinky shit, but 2 decades later.

i'm not saying that the 2000s haven't been progressive, it's just that (as the saying goes) it seems as if with every step forward we're taking two steps back at the same time. just to be fair though, there are some things about the 80s that i think have withstood the test of time: legos, chicken nuggets, and apple computers.

the smiling sillies at rosa negra, originally uploaded by mjane.

holidays

sunset at maremagnum, originally uploaded by mjane.

the cool thing about living here is that the barça, and spain in general, celebrate a lot of holidays. since moving here, mack and i have had a handful of long weekends. one of the details that make up the spanish vibe. everything starts around the time scheduled, but not necessarily on time. usually, things happen this way or that way, but it doesn't necessarily have to. "mas o menos," as i hear a lot of locals say, basically sums up the way things work in this city. granted you have to wait a little longer than usual for anything important to get done, i can dig it.

september is flying by

including the visits from my cousins and the in-laws and working a little bit at the hurley office, i also started my spanish classes at the university of barcelona last week. they're a lot of fun, and i'm meeting some interesting people. there's one girl in my class from san clemente who i've hit it off with. alright, she told me that i don't look a day over 23, so i'm sure that helped me loosen up to her. i'm joking! she's nice. not to mention that she's friendly to discussions regarding the sticky hairy icky and where to find it in the city.

i sure could use some right now.

which reminds me, mackenzie and i saw thank you for smoking saturday night. it made me think of what i could be doing right now career-wise, as i spent 4 years (and over $100k) on a college education that schooled me on the art of bullshit (a very fine art at that)... anyway, the movie was damn good. i was totally laughing out loud. "it's not a negotiation. it's an argument." i'm convinced.

saw this wrapper on the way out from the urquinaona metro station. according to this, filipinos are white-chocolate-covered mini donuts. i might just try them one day., originally uploaded by mjane.

moody

i had a lot of free time last week - so much so that i was online a lot more than usual. the kind of time when you find yourself reading through strangers' blogs. well, in this case, they weren't necessarily strangers' blogs - many are acquaintances i've met during my days of working on sneaker events, going to tradeshows, and otherwise. the blogs seemed to coincide with what mackenzie refers to as "envy-blogging." it could be as simple as saying, i know people who are cool, instead of saying that you went to asr this year. again.

so i start school next week at the university of barcelona. it's so exciting. i think this is only the second time in my life when i'm stoked to go to school. the first being my LSAT classes, and this time with Spanish language classes. i decided that this past weekend would be my last one of straight chillin. the weather was super nice. and monday was a holiday for the catalonians. i had my bacon, eggs and rice on saturday morning, slept the rest of the afternoon at the beach, and then watched factotum, a film about charles bukowski. on sunday, mackenzie's parents, inger and charles, came to visit us after mingling at the international festival of photojournalism, visa pour l'image in perpignan...

in other words, i hung out with my in-laws this weekend.

eh, just look at the photos.

jesus as la rosa negra, originally uploaded by mjane.

charles kicking it on the corner, originally uploaded by mjane.

parque güell with mack and inger, originally uploaded by mjane.

mmm.. tapas for lunch on passeig de gracia, originally uploaded by mjane.

the courtyard at the pedreda apartments by gaudi, originally uploaded by mjane.

the roof of the pedreda, originally uploaded by mjane.

the sagrada familia towers (gaudi was a genius), originally uploaded by mjane.

from the highest point in one of the towers (gaudi was a man before his time), originally uploaded by mjane.

i get vertigo in places like these, originally uploaded by mjane.

bars

the cathedral.. on the way to the bar, originally uploaded by mjane.

i ran out of my herbal meds last week and couldn't get a hold of any until this weekend. so i found myself hanging out at a few different bars the past several days... and i figured out that the only thing i can bear to drink nowadays is tequila or red wine. although neither tickle my fancy more than a good old-fashioned euro ciggy. some photos.

the bar at la rosa negra, our fave mexican restaurant, originally uploaded by mjane.

lee and mack choosing songs at the karaoke bar, originally uploaded by mjane.

that's lee singing, i swear. i just have cheap-tequila-hands at this point, originally uploaded by mjane.

les misses.. lucile and julie.. drunk hands took this photo too, originally uploaded by mjane.

dinner with barbs and bernadette at la fonda: we need more glasses, please, originally uploaded by mjane.

mack sampling the festive contents of our drinks at the kahiki, originally uploaded by mjane.

me and my bastardo saffarin. the bartender put dry ice in the little head and it was smokin', originally uploaded by mjane.