real talk

i've been feeling a bit isolated lately living on the other side of the pond. i have a lot of thoughts about my life, observations about the world from over here, and just all kinds of things i'd like to talk about to anyone. but a difference in language makes it hard to just shoot the shit. you know what i mean, i feel like i'm always "on," needing to think about how i say what i want to say in a different language. it reminds me of the first time i ventured out to europe with nothing but a backpack. i traveled throughout the continent by myself (see photos) - and traveling through places that speak different languages and have different customs for the first time ever, alone (!), my journal was my only friend. and sometimes that wasn't enough to fulfill my natural desire for social contact. but as that only happened every other city meeting an english-speaking train traveler, sometimes i'd find myself talking to myself.





six years later, here i am sitting on a sofa in barcelona. e-mail, phone calls and text messages used to be the way i'd communicate how a friend and i would meet up to talk or drink or eat or chill. now e-mails and phone calls and texts have replaced the talks and chill sessions and are the only ways i keep up with the outside world.. friends.. fam..



what's hard about it is that i'm at this point where if i could be at two places at the same time, it would be now. i love living and working in barcelona. it's probably the most challenging experience i've ever decided to take on, moving here and learning all of these amazing lessons.. it's like my grad school, you know what i mean? unfortunately 99% of my support system resides in the states, and i'd give anything to have a face-to-face with them during the times i just need to re-connect, re-energize and bounce back. anyway, i guess the distance between loved ones and me is a big part of the reason why this experience is so challenging. if living here is like going to grad school, for any of you that are in or have graduated from grad school, imagine going to one out-of-state. with your best friend or spouse. and the two of you are taking all of the same classes and are partnered-up for every single group project. and you work at the same internship together. and of course, you are each other's roommates. okay, this is definitely the most challenging chapter of my life experience.



can i put this on a resume? ha ha.