i think my brain has finally reached its first boiling point from being in france. and i figure, if i could just come to terms with, let out some steam from all the non-sensical things that have built up in my system the last five months, then i can go back to focusing on all the beautiful ideas and elements of why i decided to come out here.
as beautiful and amazing i think my french experience has been thus far, i cannot help but feel a bit tired from being "strong," as people have described me as being. it's ironic, the whole being strong thing, because i feel like it refers mostly to dealing with other people's personalities and least to do with anything french, like learning the language or finding a job.
i'm not sure what their motivation is, but i'm observing that people steer towards either being easily impressed by my actions or feeling sorry for me. you know what i mean? like, it's either "wow, jane, your rice is the best rice i've ever had," or "poor janie had to sit through a whole conversation in french," bullshit like that. in any case, i'm learning that the best method for dealing with all of it is to act dumb. but that gets tired too... because i'm not!
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