patience as a virtue

vir·tue   (vûrchoo) n.
1.
a. Moral excellence and righteousness; goodness.
b. An example or kind of moral excellence: the virtue of patience.
2. Chastity, especially in a woman.
3. A particularly efficacious, good, or beneficial quality; advantage: a plan with the virtue of being practical.
4. Effective force or power: believed in the virtue of prayer.
5. virtues Christianity. The fifth of the nine orders of angels in medieval angelology.
6. Obsolete. Manly courage; valor.
. . .
my family agrees wholeheartedly that patience is what mjane's physical and mental being lacks.
c'est vrai, sans doute.
and as i've been learning to morph and melt into this new country, understanding the realm of patience is the bulk of my lessons these days.
they say (who are "they", by the way?) that patience is a virtue, but if you take a closer look at the definition of "virtue" right now, and then apply it to me, you're probably falling off your chair laughing very hard.
anyone who knows anything real about me can go through all six definitions of the goddamn word and know that my chances for achieving any sort of virtue are slim.
1. morals? being righteous? if saying "God Bless You" after someone sneezes is being righteous, then that's as much righteous as i want to be.
2. chastity [n. 1. The condition or quality of being pure or chaste. 2. a. Virginity. b. Virtuous character. c. Celibacy.]. the word allows for a total of four valid definitions, or in my case, four chances to not go to hell... fuck all, i must be the devil himself.
3., 4., 5. & 6. forget about it ( a la johnny depp in "donnie brasco").
. . .
conclusion: patience, in my case, isn't about my going to heaven or hell. it's prescription that my doctor gave a while back: smile really big... laugh... laugh hard... laugh out loud... laugh different sounding laughs to myself.
. . .
i woke up at 7am this morning. one of the cats pissed in my suitcase. actually, one of the cats pissed on a red sweater that was laying on top of my clothes in my suitcase that bled red onto my white jeans, white skirts, multi-color polo collar'eds, bikinis, you name it...
am laughing myself silly.