co-dependence flip that shizzz

the other night while teasing one of my good male friends about his being trained like a puppy by his girlfriend, the idea came up by some random female that he possibly wasn't man enough to take "the next step", i.e. get married.

when it comes to relationships, why is it that there has to be that "next step"? don't get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing. but it's not something that anyone should be forced to do. how you going to threaten some poor dude's manhood on that shit? if he's not ready, he's not ready. and if homegirl can't handle that, move on no?

apparently i'm jaded. that's the classic retort i get every time i get into how "the next step" isn't necessary in matters of the heart.

i'll do them one better. these girls (there is a specific type. i'm not going to entertain you with my trashy interpretation of them): if they spent half the time they spend treating their dudes like shit or waiting for them to get on one knee with a rock & a wedding that'll give them bad credit (hello worst economy ever), these same girls would have another degree, make more money, learn a new hobby, volunteer for a good cause...

or better yet, get on a plane to some foreign digs, learn a new language, and meet some hot foreign dudes. i mean, the possibilities for self-empowerment, good complexion, and great sex are endless!

i.e., take the goddamn "next step" with yourselves, chicas.

por favor for real though.


morning wake-up.

stevie cat loves to drink from the faucet.

q said she was getting "cabin fever".
we tested out her new parapluie.

chilling with mia & ryry in j.town.

landon & i made a legos star wars battleship.

"mommy, i know that guy!"



huge sunday brekkies.

design by frozen yogurt.

pacific beach love.


for the record, i'm not so much jaded as i am broken-hearted.

planetary effects.

"so.. what do you do?"

i know i say this a lot, but really, only in america do people ask me that. or care.

people are funny. the kind that i happen to be running into lately seem to be dueling their self-esteems to various degrees. whatever it is, i don't think it's very modern. hello a democrat is back in the white house, i.e. less is more. and with this administration, the more is service. goodness.

but even then, somehow that becomes competitive.

all i want after a long weekend of intensive bandying with numbers, talking points, and colleagues is to get some fresh air and chill in a spot least like an office with a glass of wine and some good company. in no particular order, on repeat.

but sometimes life happens. work comes in different forms. and i'm a good sport.

the prize? even better: head-clearing thursday night at chill spot via hot tub on millie's roof, vino blanco, and my girls (with soon-to-be baby boy!).

my compass this week.




q's enviro is very old soul. pure.

i've never met a little girl of the new gen who chooses space balls and the goonies for rainy-day movie sessions.

or prefers earth, wind, and fire for dance music.







at this very moment, q is trying to keep my attention as i finish this. i feel like this is a glimpse of the mother i'm to become. working.

mars mercury pluto. full moon lunar eclipse. neptune...

i am a crazy person. my mind loves to flow best under pressure. so when i'm crying to people about my writer's block it's actually just my mind saying, don't even try turning this in early. pshh. didn't you know.

"mars (action), venus (beauty), and jupiter (luck and happiness) will be in tight alignment..."

then the moon in scorpio for the weekend. really.

i couldn't have made this up if i tried. and now that i know it it's usually good to forget it all and just let it work me.

the mind is quiet.

sparks.

santa monica playhouse. chill rainy event.

cozy.

saturday night.

gonzo steez (sans adrenachrome).

my body is full of talking points ready to throw up. what to focus on. how to focus. then focused, how to maintain such once i open it up for others to chime in on. and once open, ideas upon ideas upon possibilities upon ambition upon execution grows like hundreds of branches on a tree that i'm just learning how to care for. it's growing so fast.

and then there's everything else.

love is a funny thing. i have a bone to pick with society. well, normally i'd just take a deep breath whenever i observe the realities of what the "system" accomplishes (i.e. counter-productivity). but today, a.k.a. a mélange de menstruation, monday, champagne, my experience with word association, chill vibes, and 80º weather, the societal observations got to me. consumer shit has come to measure love.

okay, i'm not going to get into it.

it's just a lot of people seem to have a hard time loving themselves these days.

and fairytale happiness is like crack for a couple of my girls. i'm being dramatic i know. or denial is a tiara covered in shiny diamonds.

or your boobs are five times bigger than mine. you win.

alright alright. easy does it. i love you.

the far bar.

on market st & san fernando rd.



q sizzling next to the heater post bath.
dave:"quirina, it's like 75º outside."
she's a true l.a. girl.

1st & olive.

lunch with gail

and coco at her man's restaurant.

dough.

mark & ness at mexico city.

church in los feliz.

134 west.

jeff & brad.



john, capricorn aquarius. and sydney.


dinner with mia & mills.

ocean & broadway.


miauhaus.