where is the goddamn party?

little girl and tall person, originally uploaded by mjane.

i haven't been out much today. sometimes i hate to compare my l.a. weekends to my nice ones, but today is one of those days when i'd know exactly what i'd be doing on a beautiful friday like today in l.a.. instead, i'm in my room, far from nice, hoping for some positive going-out for tonight.

and i'm desperate.

i will absolutely die if i don't get out of this house tonight. oh how trying life can be when you're a dependant. in my case, i'm completely dependant on mackenzie or others to drive me into town... drive me happy.

and after having had such a great, active and positive trip in l.a., i'm on the edge over here. i will not live a provincial life. i refuse to be the lady-in-waiting. and i'll be damned if i hear about another french riviera raging-party-on-the-beach-with-champagne-and-spliffs until i am at one of those events.

to be frank, i am without transportation, friends, sandy beaches, happy hour, "meetings," lounge parties, or garth trinidad. what the fuck.

and in the end, after being told that "i don't need this from you right now," it's all for me.