je pense que c'est mieux...

mon homme, originally uploaded by mjane.

family night

all the cousins hung out at everette's house for dinner and the dodger game friday night. best dodger game yet. milton bradley saves. apparently dodger stadium does $2 tuesdays. i'm like, "let's go!" but my bro says $2 tuesdays is more like $2 agro tuesdays as you're placed in what he calls "ghetto" pavillion where many fights have been taking place. maybe not such a good idea. but hey, go dodgers.

during dinner we played a game called black magic. i still don't get it.

i finally got to see melissa's baby girl, mila. she is so adorable. she is the third baby to bless our fam in the last three years. and as the mature cousins we are, we love using our baby nephew and nieces as our entertainment.

not feeling the black magic, originally uploaded by mjane.

eljay's so creative, originally uploaded by mjane.

elo can't get enough of her ipod shuffle, originally uploaded by mjane.

mila and mark, the godfather (look at her cute little toes!), originally uploaded by mjane.

mila, the amazing dancing baby: after dinner entertainment, originally uploaded by mjane.

bad uncle eljay, originally uploaded by mjane.

clocking in

saturday night with mills and mia at the office, originally uploaded by mjane.

right now, mia is settling into her bungalow in miami, steps away from the atlantic ocean, getting inspired. my eyes have been opened to a whole new world: artist residency programs. if you're an artist and are looking for a space to work on your next big project, these programs are a treasure indeed.

millie and mia are the best roommates i've ever had. we used to live off of manchester and airport, right behind a 7-11 and a block away from paco's tacos. the area was technically called westchester, but if you're familiar with the area, one could say that westchester is denial for inglewood. and talk about denial: our apartment complex was called the madrid; our next door neighbor was the dean of asian-am studies at lmu; lisa leslie's boyfriend lived right above our apartment. but there would be many days when no water would come out of the faucets for hours at a time; the pipes were always flooding the parking garage (full of fancy cars); and when we did get water, we'd have to run it for a few minutes just to get it from dark brown to clear. or what we thought was clear water. there were always reports of robberies throughout the complex. and our apartment got robbed one night days before our lease was up. we had a fourth roommate. she had a cat named scout who'd shit in her bathroom sink, kick her hair brushes in it, and then take the shit and smear it on her walls. sometimes scout would chill in her closet and piss on all of her clothes. i guess the poor kitty was trying to tell her something, but i don't think she got the message.

i've got some real estate here in my bag

zen, originally uploaded by mjane.

i've been in l.a. for a week, and i think it's a sign that i'm down with the flu. luckily my mom carries antibiotics in her purse. anyways, the sign being that i need to just go with the flow here. since i flew in, i've been a bit over-stimulated by nothing, everything, anything... i'm sleeping in this weekend.

allow me to be a bit pensive. i'm back home, yet i'm living out of my suitcase. i'm now about to put my suitcase in the car and sleep somewhere else for the third time. it doesn't matter though, because in the last ten years, i'm not sure that i've ever unpacked. beit l.a. or france. i dream of places to call my own, but i'm simultaneously content with not knowing where yet.

after the fixins meeting last night, i took the long way back to toluca lake and drove through the old neighborhood. there are new buildings on either side of 1306. the el pollo inca has sadly been replaced by the house of ribs. there's a cabo cantina or something sharky's-like next to q's now. and i don't know where i'm going with this.

you never knew

The originals, originally uploaded by mjane.

5 years ago, I got a job at this website called Antix.com. Before Dean, mentor-extraordinair, hired me, he sat me down in the middle of his office with two chairs facing each other. The chair I was sitting in was facing the wall on which hung a bus-shelter-sized poster of this blonde porn star in a bent-over pose wearing nothing but black patent-leather stiletto heels. Was she sucking on a lollipop, too? I don't remember... and I forget her name now... but at the time I thought that knowing a little info on her was the "trick" part of the interview. Luckily, I was familiar with her work and mentioned a couple tidbits nonchalantly, hoping that it would score me points with the company. Anyway, I interviewed with Dean, Mackenzie, and Jeff - they all took turns sitting in the chair facing me (Pat was out with a broken collar bone at the time). They were asking me all sorts of typical job-interview questions and as I answered them, in my head all I was thinking about was how impressive the porn star's tummy looked in the tucked position - you know, no flab, no rolls, nothing.

Anyway, I got the job. And long story short, or should I say, point being: Donny Miller, there are reasons why respected gossip columnists are hard to come by in the states, moreso in L.A. But you, my friend, have got the formula down. After all, it is your Universe. I was a bit disappointed that I didn't get a holla for approving Ollie's hot selection for Mack's birthday surprise at the old office - who, by the way, also rode you and your associate, a generous impromptu gesture of appreciation from the birthday boy for lending your support. But, what's news to me is that you say that you couldn't get it up. Hey, don't get me wrong, Donny, it happens, man. C'est normale, as they say. But even a teeny tiny little "thank you" of any sort would've been cool.

It's all good, Donny. We can always count on you to keep the crowd laughing. Don't stop what you're doing. In my book, that's finesse.

Mac. Man, what a fucking piece of work. He's on my top ten most uptight people I've ever met in my life list., originally uploaded by mjane.

ground control

seeking: interim models in l.a. area for orientedgirl as face-of 05 holds it down a cote d'azur, originally uploaded by mjane.

jane's little body is screaming, "jet lag." yet, i haven't been able to do the sleep thing yet. oh how lovely it would be if i could just sleep straight through tonight.

fam from PI came in on saturday morning. and then the coincidences commence.

mark took me to the new active boardshop that opened in my parents' hood, my hometown, to check out the biz at some demo that chocolate was doing. and above mass craziness of crowds and cars on the ground, i see my boys one at a time going up and down in the air, comme flying, glowing beings. nice to see them skating, in all places, of all weekends, my first weekend back in good ol' santa clarita valley. even better, it was great to see everyone smiling. it's a belated greeting, but fuck y'all, vraiment, here's to an amazing 2005. smiling faces - it's been a long time since i've seen the homies' teeth shinin'. except for meza, who somehow always graces me with the presence of his pretty grill every time we see each other. i swear, aaron, you wear that smile like a tie.

it's all good.

i'm so tired. got a long way to go still, but i feel as if my time here is already slipping. for real though. in yellow submarine fashion, "it's time for time." and so it is. en autre mots, c'est chill... non angoisse... pas probleme... juste tout amour.

"who do you ride for?"
"chocolate."
"can you sign my shirt?"
(jane witnessing a moment b/ roberts and a fan) (too cute)

g.i., clark gable, gucci, louis vuitton... i love america

what an interesting time i'm having so far in l.a. first of all, i'm no good after 6pm - the jet-lag makes me a cranky, groggy little girl. second, the ghetto-sans-fab steez i wasn't feeling in france exists here too. (well, at least in santa clarita). i went to swim some laps today in my parents' hood. they live right next to saugus high school. on the street that the pool's at, there were a huge group of boys - some with skateboards, and others standing in the back of huge trucks. when i got to the pool two high school girls asked if they could use my phone. i said, sure. then i asked them if there was a fight about to go down. they said that it's the skaters against the ballers. that is very strange. but then again, i guess that's high school. then they said thanks for letting them use my phone. i said, it's all good. and before they took off, they asked me if i went to saugus high because they'd never seen me on campus.

i took it as a compliment.

after, i went to target with my mom. wow, so this is why america is so cool. i love target!!! i felt like a little kid. and then again, i felt like a consumer again. consuming is bad, esp for jane who doesn't know how to save money. i think i have an illness. like, if i had 2 dollars to my name and saw something at target that was 1.50, i'd buy it, even though it would then mean that i'd be broke and out on the street. ehhh, i'm just rambling now. it's the jet-lag talking.

anyway, after target, i went to whole foods. uuuhhhhhh, naked juices. i hugged the carrot juice, orange juice and green machine jugs as i brought them to the cash register. which reminds me...

my carrot/orange juice partner is back in france. holding it down for the team. i found some photos of mr. eisenhour on my mom's computer, so there. i'm done.

eisenhours & stratte-mcclures, originally uploaded by mjane.

who's reading this?

packing, originally uploaded by mjane.

mackenzie booked me a ticket to l.a. back in february to head out there from april 27 to june 27. where does the time go?

march is a complete blur...

april, i started my french classes. and fucking hell, it's now less than a week until i'm back home. holy shit.

in any case, i'm pretty sensitive to the whole situation - i'm talking, emotions times five. or a million, in some cases. meaning, i'm excited, stoked, ecstatic, jittery, loopy, etc. about the trip. it's been seven months since i've been around. whatch'all been up to?

. . . and there you have it.

side note: damn, christina! i wish i were in france while you're visiting in may.

well, i can't wait to kick it with everyone. i miss you guys on the real like crazy.

tres piquant

m.eisenhour: the face of orientedgirl 2005, originally uploaded by mjane.

mackenzie: likes to eat very slowly; he prefers beer with dinner; he loves hot sauce (the hotter the better) (i think he's training his tongue to handle hot sauce like my pops, tony i-like-it-hot san b); candles are a necessary accessory to his dining experience

jane: loves to eat meat; and when doing so, must have plenty of rice, potatoes, bread or pasta to accompany meat; is unable to share kitchen with others - she always cooks alone; prefers a glass of porto before dinner, red wine during, and an amaretto for digestif

blah blah blah

three coffees later..., originally uploaded by mjane.

photo was taken at a rest area on the way to the volcom eu office in marseilles. got to marseilles, and hmm... i don't think i'd ever live there. as soon as we stepped into the volcom office, it was like being in an orange county colony. except in french.

after, stopped off in toulon to see triple5soul france's fall line. sales rep kept describing fur-lined things as being, as i heard it, "zgi lo" and i didn't understand her. so i asked mackenzie ce quoi what sounds like zgi lo and he said, she's saying "j lo". oh...

and now, it's penalty kicks on the television - important for lyon, for france. gotta stop this entry now and see how it ends.

the dishes/taxes are done.

well here we are, originally uploaded by mjane.

these are some happy people right here. hey, it's sunday. and you know what, every day could really feel like a sunday. if you want it to.

right, positive... positive is good

today is my sister's birthday. that's truly a positive thing. she is a best friend like no other. when we were kids, i remember waking up in the middle of the night sometimes to her being up late when she was in high school. one night, she came into my room to borrow my crayola markers. i woke up, wanted to see what she was doing, and i spent the night watching her sketching her fashion designs on her bed. another night, while she was hanging out with her friends in her room, i came in attempting to be down and hang out and shit, she showed me her chippendales playing cards. i remember on a suit card there's some dude with gel'd up hair, posing on hay or something wearing nothing but chaps. hey, chippendales were huge back then. very popular, you know what i mean.

anyway, other than that, it's been hard to keep up the old blog. time has been moving a lot quicker ever since the time changed. i've been here for almost seven months, and i don't know, something's "hit" me, but i don't know what it is exactly. in any case, i've just gotta maintain positive vibes.

this is very hard to do at times. a lot of confusion. a lot of rebellion. a lot of resentment that not only will the 80s keep coming back, but that, seemingly so, a lot of people my age on the cote d'azur are the living, breathing 80s of 2005. i wonder if that possibly makes sense to anyone other me. did anyone ever watch prime-time soaps of back then? like knot's landing or falcon crest or dynasty or dallas? that's kind of where i'm going with all of that - or, at least, the effect it had on me.

okay, but for real, the positive... i started my french classes yesterday. my class is funny. so i'm laughing a lot. one girl is from ukraine, another girl is from russia, and another girl is from poland; then there is a chinese girl and a half chinese-half japanese girl, a girl from chile, a boy from ecuador, another boy from south america - but i forgot which country. and then there's jane, the american. it's an intermediate class so we're always speaking in french and it seems to go by quickly as there's a lot of info to learn each day. so now every day before i visit home that's what i'm up to until 2pm.

and then there's been this thing subconsciously hanging around in the air, like smoke sitting still in a very humid room. it feels very domestic. kind of along the lines of women with blenders and ironing boards and aprons and things like that. or how being a chipper, talkative female sales rep for triple5soul france is considered "femme fatale" down here in this part of the world. the term is clearly french - it's like how the rolling stones sold america better than your average american back in the day - anyway, ironic, right? or, it's just me.

homegirl's gear... it's positive. the sea looks gorgeous., originally uploaded by mjane.

monaco v. marseilles

so today was a nice surprise. mack and i went to monaco to hang with jules, and as we drove into monte carlo the announcement board read that the monaco/marseilles footbal match was tonight. we go to the stade to check out the prices, and we end up buying seats. stoked. without getting into it, the game was a big deal to both teams. the rivalry alone was a huge deal. so it was a lot of fun. monaco won. check the photos. needless to say, they're blurry as was my vision that night.

buying tickets, originally uploaded by mjane.

allez monaco, originally uploaded by mjane.

barthez kicks, originally uploaded by mjane.

roma & sugar daddy, originally uploaded by mjane.

the fans and fireworks (monaco scores again), originally uploaded by mjane.

hello big boys, originally uploaded by mjane.

gangsta cooking

the steez: g'd up oven mitts, low-ridin' jeans & faux-fur-lined minnetonka slipperz, originally uploaded by mjane.

the stance: lean'd back, originally uploaded by mjane.

g'd up dinner menu: broiled chicken wings and rice. g'd up method: stand on a stool to reach oven and flip them chicken wings until golden, greazy, and crispy.

the recipe***:

the kitchen, originally uploaded by mjane.

three friends
a wifey
one dead hippie
the birth of hot rod's sister
cote d'azur
and great style

***very, very spicy

cause & effect

the 3 kings of dreamland, originally uploaded by mjane.

julien and his girl laura from italy stayed in st. paul for the weekend. this is what happens after many bottles of red wine, lots of pizza, grey haze spliffs, drum-playing, a bottle of champagne, the simpsons complete fifth season, attempts at speaking italian, and beaucoup des "merdes" et "putains" from the spirit-filled boys.

zissou saves

l'affiche pour la vie aquatique, originally uploaded by mjane.

the life aquatic opened in france today. there's a different version of this poster i saw on the back of a bus a couple of days before the opening while i was in the car. i was so excited, i started screaming. and, of course, i found the movie to be so beautiful, i cried. amazing.

anyway, took some photos while we were in nice for our little premiere. enjoy.

the rialto... out of focus, like my vision that night, originally uploaded by mjane.

nice at night, originally uploaded by mjane.

sea-front benches: theater for the real life aquatic, originally uploaded by mjane.

l'hotel negresco, originally uploaded by mjane.

crainte et déteste à cote d'azur

for every day that i'm not learning french, i feel like i'm losing all that's left of what i already know. i've got five weeks to find another french teacher and get my ass fluent. after that, it's eight weeks of "tanglish" (tagalog & english) until i get back to the old country for all the french i can handle. once i get the handle come july, well my friend, then it is on... and up.

j'adore monte carlo

castellini & eisenhour near place du casino, originally uploaded by mjane.

people in the south of france can say what they want about monaco, but it will never change the feeling i have for the place. it was love at first sight when mackenzie introduced me to the principality in the summer of '01. and every time i come back to the cote d'azur, i'm in hot pursuit of getting sweet, beautiful monaco to love me back. well, today, it happened. while spending the day there with mackenzie and julian, i whispered "i love you" to its charming streets and deep blue waters. and by the time we were in the car on the way back to st. paul de vence, she finally said it back. now i'm hooked - and if cote d'azur is the place i'll be calling my second home in months to come, be sure of the fact that a spot in monaco is the first place i'll be working my ass off for in order to do so.

it's worth every penny earned and saved even if just to feel closer to my roots every time i walk along the port.

In 1988, when my grandfather passed
He left me a Monte Carlo and a large amount of cash
It was, bubble gum blue with the leather plush seats
And I just can't thank you enough for all the stuff that you done, G
See my grandmother told me take care of the ride
And always do your best to keep it clean inside
So I just past the go and get the candy paint
Leather white, outta sight, that made the girls faint
See my partner, Eric, he got stereos
And my partner, Steve got true and bolds
And my dog, Black got european fronts
And this nigga named Duke hook up all the humps
~ cutlass, monte carlo's, & regals, big tymers

hybernation

i caught the flu last week, what i call the limone party effect. except i haven't been to limone this season, and the most partying i've done down here is splurging on a joint while sipping a small glass of amaretto. in any case, it all started with the sneezing two weeks ago. i thought they were just allergies, a possible sign that spring was going to bless the cote d'azur early this year. bikinis started appearing in my daydreams - me wearing a new one, sitting by the pool in the middle of february on an unusually hot day - and i started going through my closet to find more sun-friendly clothing to wear. but reality hit one day, sunday, and i woke up with mucous backed up from my nose all the way to my brain. meanwhile, hail and snow were coming down hard. so hard that the roads in monaco were closed. it marked the beginning of this so-called Turning Point i am currently experiencing.

boredom settles in quickly when you're sick. in between sleeping and blowing my nose, i found myself surfing the web intensely until i reached the point of having read and skimmed every website i could think of, reading variations of the same news over and over again. i got hooked in with the jeff gannon/jim guckert story. and once i was over that, i remembered that i had a paypal account. i wondered, is it still active? well, sure enough it is... enough for me to be curious of how the ebay market was doing these days as it had been over a year since i quit the racket of rummaging through pages of pages of women's vintage items (clothing, shoes, handbags, and jeans), "watching" items, and getting off on strategically placing my so-close-to-winning bid at the very last moment - according to the speed of my internet connection - before the bidding ends with not enough time for my competitor to place their counter bid and click the "confirm" button only to find out that their page uploaded too slowly, and yes, the bidding has ended with their being "outbid." needless to say, in the past week of "watching" items, i've won a pair of gloria vanderbilt heels, baby phat shorts, and a pair of jeans. so far.

aside from finding me staring at my iBook, i decided that i was finally ready to start reading fear and loathing: on the campaign trail '72. mackenzie had it in l.a. i remember him starting the book during our last days there. it took him a while to finish it. i think he finally did right before we took off for paris. anyway, the cover of the book is very distinct, and considering the subject of the book, the stars and stripes that decorated the skull on the cover haunted me: in one sense, i wanted to read thompson's take on the situation; but i didn't know if i was far-removed enough from our current situation to read it without sinking back into another one of those "depressing political trips." that was sunday night. the next day i read on yahoo, hunter s. thompson committed suicide. and now i can't seem to put the damn book down.

meanwhile - i mean, Meanwhile, i'm equally involved in observing the 101s of business a la mackenzie eisenhour. i call it a few things, like the rebirth of the french riviera, or bridgin the gap. but its real name is dead hippie.

and now, for now, it's the beginning of march. still rocking the kleenex, but it's hopeful. god bless the idea that one day it will be warm again, that the thought of thick, warm socks and long johns will be far gone, and i'll once again have my beautiful, soft, deep brown skin. i realize now that i never wondered what it would be like to know the true "winter." to actually experience it, (having limp hair, dry and pasty skin and being the source of non-stop static electricity - with no chance of having one of those hot days in the middle of a so-called winter, ditching work and hitting the beach) is a very depressing reality for me to discover. forever more, the key to my happiness will be to live in a place where the sun shines all day, and the temperature drops to nothing less than 60 degrees at night on any given day.

Our trip was different. It was to
be a classic affirmation of
everything right and true in the
national character; a gross,
physical salute to the fantastic
possibilities of life in this
country. But only for those with
true grit... ~ r. duke

jack of all trades:

to be one is the curse laid upon people who are experts in various fields of work, who hold multiple skills that apply to different positions, who are able pick up knowledge of any one trade without difficulty.

apparently, it is the hardest for them to find a decent job. go figure.

insomnia

i'm having trouble falling asleep at a decent hour these days. so i've been reading a lot. i've gone through a lot of books already, so last night i decided to try writing. but i was having a hard time conveying my thoughts into sentences, so i stopped writing and decided to read a book instead. the book: chicken soup for the writer's soul. i figured it's cheesy, but harmless, so it couldn't hurt to skim through a few pages. after reading a couple of stories, i was convinced that my writer's soul was touched. some passages:

my second marriage was tearing apart. troubled, i walked the path under the blue oaks along the consumnes river, a little light remaining at the end of the hot day. since we had acquired the ranch ten years ago, my husband and i had commuted the twenty-five miles from the california gold country to sacramento. but like many people, i lived in the fast lane... (from "writing can be magic")

one of my most profound fears, of course, was that the day would soon come when i would no longer be physically able to perform the simple act of climbing a favorite tree - clearly, ballet was out of the question. while i didn't want to face it, i rarely thought about anything else. on one particularly tough day, i went to my hideout straight off the school bus, book pack on my back and all. i'd tripped again, and had a spectacular fall at school, this time right in front of the boy i'd had a secret crush on... (from "dreams lost and found")

since books are printed on sheets about half the size of the average sheet of paper, i decided to cut my sheets of paper in halves. since books are printed on both sides of the page, i did that as well. since books are printed in single space, i did that too. i wanted to make it easy for the publishers. (from "a writer's journey")

there are 400 pages worth of this stuff, people trying to write a few thousand words on how they became writers, how they found their voice, overcame obstacles... zzz... BORING! but hey, it worked. i was so bored out of my mind with all the sap that it motivated me to write in my journal. now that's some chicken soup!

i heart:

l.a.
sunshine
& most importantly
you!

happy valentine's day.

a healthy dose of salt (huff puff)

i think my brain has finally reached its first boiling point from being in france. and i figure, if i could just come to terms with, let out some steam from all the non-sensical things that have built up in my system the last five months, then i can go back to focusing on all the beautiful ideas and elements of why i decided to come out here.

as beautiful and amazing i think my french experience has been thus far, i cannot help but feel a bit tired from being "strong," as people have described me as being. it's ironic, the whole being strong thing, because i feel like it refers mostly to dealing with other people's personalities and least to do with anything french, like learning the language or finding a job.

i'm not sure what their motivation is, but i'm observing that people steer towards either being easily impressed by my actions or feeling sorry for me. you know what i mean? like, it's either "wow, jane, your rice is the best rice i've ever had," or "poor janie had to sit through a whole conversation in french," bullshit like that. in any case, i'm learning that the best method for dealing with all of it is to act dumb. but that gets tired too... because i'm not!

truffles & texans

who's a good boy?, originally uploaded by mjane.

today i joined inger on a truffle-themed trip in le var. i never really knew what truffles were before today. if you've never had them, simply put, they are a sort of cancer that grows on the roots of various types of oak trees. they can only grow in certain parts of the world, i.e. the south of france and regions of italy. you can spot truffle-infected trees by their brownish-colored leaves. their leaves are brown because the trees are sick - makes sense as truffles are basically parasites. as they are rare and apparently taste good, too, one kilo of truffles today cost about 800 euros. they are hunted by a truffle hunter and their dogs or wild boars.


sheep, originally uploaded by mjane.

hay, originally uploaded by mjane.

anyway, so i go on this day trip that is organized by a woman called kathy that inger knows. kathy turns out to be an american chef who lives in julia child's house near valbonne. and once a year or something, people pay her something like 2,000 euros to stay at her house for a week and learn how to cook and go on food-themed day trips. today was all about truffles.

we met up at her house this morning where a van would pick us up. the people staying at her house this year were all from texas. one couple worked for texas instruments and the other couple was retired from the oil business. we all hopped in the van and took off to check out a few different villages in le var. first, we went to this olive oil shop and saw how they make olive oil. we only spent an hour there and then headed to la gite de france, a bed and breakfast with a truffle farm.

the truffle daughter, originally uploaded by mjane.

this place is a trip. the first thing you see once you get to the driveway is a statue of a dog. they also have their own chapel. at the back of the property, they keep all these dogs, sheep, chickens, ponies, and pigs. inside the house is decorated uniquely. there's a boar's head once you walk in the door. there are scatters of porcelain dogs, dog paintings, guns hanging on the wall and really cool ivory and chocolate leather seats. talked with the richard, the oil business man, who i found very funny and charming. he's part of some group called the century club. you become a member if you've visited one hundred countries or more. he said that general eisenhower was said to have been prescribed by one doctor, "a jigger o' whiskey a day," which richard supposes is, "better than not having any... but then again, the smoking didn't help." he was stationed in the philippines after the war in 1946. he mentioned how much he enjoys watermelon seeds. i also learned how to make truffle-filled scrambled eggs... which we ate for lunch along with truffle-stuffed filet mignon, truffle mashed potatoes, truffle on toast, truffle & chestnut soup, truffle'd brie with grapes, apple pie, and vanilla ice cream. that is the only meal i'm having today. and then after our coffees and digestifs, we went out in the truffle farm and hunted some with this hunter named lionel and his cute black doggies. it was very interesting.

front: richard and his wife; back: two dogs licking each other and a rose, originally uploaded by mjane.

sniffing for truffles, a dog's life, originally uploaded by mjane.

we left la gite around 3pm and went to this vineyard called chateau roubine and did a tour of their property and did some wine tasting. having a heavy lunch and lots of alcohol creates drowsiness. too tired to socialize and pay attention to interesting facts and stories regarding wine. i did a lot of tasting. inger bought some bottles of rosé and red.

pig, originally uploaded by mjane.

by the time we got back to kathy's house, it was 7pm. i was stoked that mackenzie was already there waiting to pick us up, especially since i anticipated him being stuck in traffic with NATO in town.

my shadow originally uploaded by mjane.

untitled

m.wolf: architecture of destiny: hong kong #22, originally uploaded by mjane.

beautiful photos
. . .
it's very windy today. good excuse to stay indoors, write some emails, and dance to janet jackson's janet album. if only it were that easy. i need to distract myself from attempting to answer the question, "what am i going to do next?" i won't know that answer until i'm doing it, right?

happenings

it starts with friday. i hit an all-time low during breakfast when i found myself fighting the imaginary forces of midlife. so mackenzie took me to a beach near st. laurent. we sat out in the sun, near the sea, in this cool cafe and had some coffees while mackenzie pitched me the cote d'azur. great presentation. on saturday. the whole family went to see the little shop of horrors at mackenzie's high school, the international school of nice. oh la la. let's just say that it was one of the funniest experiences i've had in france thus far. and then on sunday we drove into this forest north of cannes to smell the mimosas. coincidentally, there was a mimosa festival going on in the village of tanneron where we walked around and had a crepe and some coffee.

when i woke up this morning i noticed that since i've been here i've been waking up with a little taste of disappointment. i have to change feeling that immediately!

la prefecture des alpes-maritime

what a day. my day started off with a meltdown, including i-don't-know-who-i-am-anymore rants, freaking out about my status in eu, whether or not getting my carte de sejour (a.k.a. green card) would be worth jumping through all these hoops, how will i be able to travel in and out of eu, being ridiculously homesick, etc. etc. etc. then reality hit, and i had to get out of bed to face la prefecture (in my case, it's immigration-office equivalent) and see for myself what my options are.

and after waiting three hours to talk to this lady about the possibility of transferring our files from paris to nice, not only did the lady say it's a go, she okay'd me for a ten-year visa (instead of the one-year paris said i was only qualified for), and processed mackenzie and my temporary cartes de sejour on the spot. stoked.

thank you mackenzie.

the old country

i'm having a hard time getting into the whole cote d'azur vibe.
it's seems a bit too midlife for me.

vitamin d

i'm going through something very interesting, attempting to live in the present. this is something i'm not used to doing. i remember working - sitting at a desk, staring at a computer - and constantly thinking, all i want is simplification, more time for myself. and now i've got it. at first, i couldn't come to terms with it. i call it "the grass is greener" disease. i got as far as quitting my office job and moving to france. but as soon as i was faced with what i wanted, i panicked. in fact, i got anxious about not having to do anything i didn't want to. i started to anticipate getting word from paris about the job status out there. i felt guilty for not being "busy." i was insecure for not having any idea of what i'm going to do next. when lo and behold, i've been doing all along. and after six months of being here, i'm finally starting to notice and enjoy the now a lot more.

nothing is going as i planned, and it's great. it makes me realize not to think so much, plot so much, or expect anything at all.

Normality is the paradise of escapeologists, for it is a fixation concept, pure and simple. It is better, if we can, to stand alone and to feel quite normal about our abnormality, doing nothing whatever about it, except what needs to be done in order to be oneself.
~ War Dance by E. Graham Howe

last week of january

time flies. i felt like it was just yesterday that i was in the south of france for the holidays. and now i'll be back there for an indefinite amount of time again come sunday. mackenzie and i are moving out of paris. which city we'll take on next, i'm not sure. we're on an unpractical wave, and it's probably best to enjoy the ride as long as we can afford to be on it.

paris is beautiful. but for the happy couple, it's more of a great place to visit than a city to call home. in any case, i will miss our little apartment, the charms of monmartre, and the everyday hustle that i've grown accustomed to the past couple of months.

it's all love.

follow your heart

my stay in paris is ending soon. that's what the old instinct tells me. funny though, i've been here since november and it's only now that i'm seeing all the lovely things about this place. isn't that how the story always goes?

yesterday, i was taking the metro to mack's office, and i had to get off a few stops earlier than my destination due to some accident. i had to take a bus off rue ordener in the 18th as an alternate route. and as i looked out the window i discovered a wall about 200-300 meters long on rue ordener that has some of the best graffiti i've seen here. ultra-colorful and positive creations against a cloud-filled and rainy backdrop. something for my muse.

up in the air

after searching for a new place to live in, we decided to stop looking last friday night. not because we found a place, though. where will we be after january 31st? i'm not sure, really. yet i'm surprisingly relaxed about it all.

anyway, mackenzie and i had a pretty fun weekend. after mack came back from skating bercy on saturday, we did a little window-shopping. checked out colette on the very chic-chic, boutique-lined rue st. honoré. it's like a minimalist urban outfitters. they carry a couple of creative labels (like bob k's crownfarmer!) and a few cool books, but it's nothing that i haven't seen before. coming from the states, and moreso l.a., maybe i'm spoiled with having been surrounded by so many outlets for new ideas. an observation that was made after leaving colette: if, say, the likes of dior, chanel and louis vuitton are the old school of creativity, and colette is the house of all that is considered new school, then paris seems to be a bit limited. or, having existed for so long, maybe paris is just more established.

on sunday, we visited the musee de la publicité next to the louvre. they had an amazing exhibition called psy[k]é/off the wall: affiches de san francisco 1966-1969. they displayed some of the most beautiful designs i'd seen from that time period. we also sat in on a couple of amazing films, like the doors in europe in 1968 and jimi hendrix playing live at rainbow bridge in maui. mack and i hung out there for a few hours. it was a rejuvination session for our creative souls.

bush wants to loot our loot!

i'll let moveon.org do the talking because they do know the real deal on this issue. this is important! and in any case, if it's going to take $100 million in pr and advertising for bush to convince americans that privatization is good for social security, then you know something's wrong. that's if you didn't already know that everything bush is wrong in the first place. jesus christ.
. . .
so it's back to cold-as-usual paris today, a.k.a. back to wearing my long johns.

there are these two french dudes visiting the office today from california (they work at the parent company that owns pony, kenneth cole, etc.). when the boss introduced them to mackenzie and me, he said, "this is mackenzie; he moved here from los angeles with his girlfriend jane who he had to marry so she could stay in the country." and then the two frenchies were like, "you were in l.a. and you moved to paris?" to which the boss interrupted, "yeah, they fucked up." huh. okay, i was about to call them assholes. but eh, they're just some square motherfuckers who nut over numbers and dollar signs.

ironically, mack and i have been scheming on taking off from the great city of lights for some time now.
. . .
"Tigger is all right really," said Piglet lazily.
"Of course he is," said Christopher Robin.
"Everybody is really," said Pooh. "That's what I think," said Pooh.
"But I don't suppose I'm right," he said.
"Of course you are," said Christopher Robin
~ from the tao of pooh

le premier jour des soldes!

hi, my name is jane, and i love to shop. but i'm picky and am never sold on something without having done my research. i never buy anything regularly-priced, and even if i get pieces at wholesale prices, i remain skeptical until i know in my heart that yes, my hard-earned cash is worth handing over to any one label. oh, and i've always got my iPod playing loudly in my ears as to not be deceived by any clothing that tries to scream my name. keeping this in mind, i'm bracing myself for the start of a 6-week sale happening in every boutique and department store in France.

one of France's treasures, annual sales, are only permitted to occur twice a year: winter and the end of summer. this year, the country-wide winter sale goes from january 12 to the end of february. and from what i've seen so far on my way to work this morning, there are lots of goodies to choose from! though it will be interesting to peruse racks of clothing and shoes in tiny aisles with more women than anyone wants to be around wearing big, poofy winter coats... we'll see how composed and graceful the parisiennes remain during a sale!

in other news, i received an email from langue onze, the non-profit institution i'm to take my french classes at in february. they're not sure if they can admit me because they need more people to register in the advanced class they determined i should be in after a short french writing test i took. advanced?!? if i'm so advanced, why can't i carry a conversation with anyone out here!!! putain...

hot sake

mmm... had some decent sushi last night for my big night on the town with mackenzie. it's somewhat close to our favorite sushi spot on santa monica blvd, none other than terried sake house. eh, actually, it's not close... more like, familiar to what i dig. and, it's better than the "mexican" restaurant we went to last friday night called la perla. first of all, a margarita in a small cocktail glass costs about 10 euros. a pitcher of it, fucking 56 euros. and the food, when i asked mack how his enchiladas were he said, "it's like an okay quesadilla." that pretty much says it all. needless to say, we miss chilling on the westside, eating mexican food, smoking our fill of fairy treats... blahblahblah.

one thing that's not so bad is that the weather in cali seems comparable to that of paris lately. no, no, i'm not hating. it's usually freezing in paris during the winter. but since the new year it's been in the mid 50s, and having adapted to being in much, much colder weather, (knock on wood) this is warm for paris. i'm just stoked that i can take a break from wearing my thick, unattractive thermals under my clothes that i've been sporting since november.

oh buddy, and then there's the apartment drama. wishy-washy man still hadn't made our keys to the apartment, so we decided that we'd just stay there til february and then find a new place. apparently this made w-w man upset, and for once, he was confident in proclaiming, "you'll have a hard time making friends in paris" because we're backing out on our agreement. well, jesus christ, i didn't even know that the man had even agreed to anything because he's always switching shit up. so, screw you and good riddance. right? then why did homie call back half an hour later to lower the rent even more? screw you and good riddance.
. . .

my sister left a message on my portable super early this morning at about 3:30am to say happy birthday. she put quirina on the phone, and i guess quirina didn't understand that she was leaving me a voicemail. i think she was waiting for me to say something back after her message because i could just hear her breathing. and then my sister took the phone back, and as she did, i could hear little q in the background say, "but she's not talking to me." it was just so cute that it broke my heart into little pieces.

they're traveling to hong kong for a couple of weeks. i can just picture the little girl tripping out on being there. hahaha, that reminds me of when mackenzie came back from a zoo york tour in hong kong, he brought back so many dvds, snacks and quality louis vuitton knock-offs. i'm sure my sister will have fun on this trip.

out with the old...

in 2004 i borrowed various digital cameras (thank you carlyle, oliver, & inger) and got tons of mileage out of mackenzie's scanner. but towards the end of the year, i had no more cameras to borrow, and the old scanner's tucked away in a box. i got a camera phone from inger and charles for christmas, and before i start posting pics that will be derived from my new phone, here are some photos i found today while cleaning up my mac files. enjoy!

mr. castellini graces the armacost compound, originally uploaded by mjane.

toto's regimen, originally uploaded by mjane.

some of the boys at SOLA, originally uploaded by mjane.

mikey took this minutes before i passed out right in front of GR, originally uploaded by mjane.

bob k's last day in l.a., originally uploaded by mjane.

two cutie pies: ollie & lola, originally uploaded by mjane.

yes, yes, we're cutting the cake, originally uploaded by mjane.

*mute* pt.ii

so i'm looking through the book of french class descriptions and schedules that the mayor's office offers for "non-francophones." but i'm not really clear exactly which class is right for me because the goddamn thing is written in french. is that ironic? or am i just a dummie? enter: frustration.

i get the gist of what the classes offer, and more generally, what people say in french. but sometimes not knowing one word here and there could lead me into making wrong decisions or understanding the complete opposite of what i'm being told. thus, frustration. not really because i'm worried about not completely understanding french, but because i have a feeling that my french-speaking partner gets irritated when i ask him for help.

anyway, we're moving into a bigger studio next week. but fuck, just like i vibed from the guy who's renting it to us, he's totally wishy-washy and seemingly shady because as soon as we move in we most likely will have to find another fucking place to live in. he's thinking of giving up the place at the end of february. so we're not guaranteed our stay if the new landlord already has someone else in mind for it or if they decide to hike up the rent. long story short, i should've been more "emotional" about being sure that homie's vibe was bad because, apparently, when i say things calmly and rationally, i'm not taken seriously.

go figure.
language barriers. stereotypes. handicaps. appearances...
communication
b
r
e
k
d
o
w
n.

*mute*

am going through another writer's block. this always seems to happen when i need to, you know, actually say something. of course that would be the case. it always seems to be. people say that doing a stream-of-consciousness method to writing is the best way to get things out. so let's try.

mackenzie and i have to leave our cute tiny apartment by january 14. i think we may already have another place - a bigger studio in le marais for a very good deal, but the landlord is a bit wishy-washy and his vibe doesn't mesh well with my no-bullshit way for getting by out here. it's either a sure thing or a sure nothing. maybe's are a luxury for me these days, and since i moved out here i haven't been able to afford one yet.

and then there's the issue with my brain and teaching it to think and speak in french. i think it already is thinking in french, though, because i've become a little more blasé. and that's probably because i don't say or stare much. ha, but maybe i don't say or stare much because i'm intimidated by people speaking french to me if i make eye contact with them! as for speaking french, it's not enough that most people say it usually takes a good year or two to really get into it. i need to speak it perfectly now! and that's probably the reason why my poor brain can't seem to get it to flow. too busy thinking of how it could come out perfectly instead of just spitting it out. i'm going to be taking french classes for two weeks starting the last week of february, but it seems so far away from now. so far away... no worries, though. the mayor's office offers very cheap, if not free, french classes for foreigners in order to help us assimilate more smoothly into living here. in any case, being deficient in the language is definitely trying my confidence. and that's the most challenging element of this whole experience thus far.

there are times when i'm convinced that i don't know myself any more. as if i've forgotten how to be me. i know it's impossible for me to lose who i think jane is. but it's almost painful for me to communicate myself without saying so much... or having mackenzie be my communicator, for that matter. i'm realizing, though, that maybe i've just depended too much on words to speak for me. i probably talk too much, anyway! and besides, i should take advantage of being the student during this transition instead of trying to already know. i always imagined that one of the best occupations to have is being a student. and so now i am.

puff puff pass, motherfucker

got back into paris sunday morning. woke up at 4am, got on the plane at 6:30am, and after a bus-to-metro ride home, i cooked up some bacon (canadian), eggs and rice with ketchup. so good! then, mack and i checked out a prospective studio to live in down in the 4th. we'll see how that situation turns out...

oh, and then i finally got to nap for a little while before we met up with toto to see redman perform at elysee monmartre that night. it was cool not only because elysee monmartre is only two blocks down from our apartment, but it was such a great way to end the new year weekend. and for my first show in paris, redman was pretty sick. plus, the vibe the crowd gave off was definitely amazing: so positive, so into redman, and ultra-chill. redman had a band and his dj. dj kool was there too, did his let me clear my throat joint that made everyone go nuts. then towards the end of the show, redman was really stoked on body-surfing. he kept climbing onto the speakers and jumping into the audience. good show.

ended the night with a tv show about the history and influence of filming animals.
. . .
woah, i just had a deja vu experience this very moment. trip. out.